New year, new meh 🤚🏽- transcript to podcast episode 56

This is a rebroadcast of episode 4 with a new special intro i recorded after walking on the beach where i met my crow friend (Geoffrey) !

Find all links and resources mentioned below or head to the show transcript on my blog for more!

Thank you for listening!

Love,

Dionne xxx

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(Sounds of waves crashing and stones crunching from walking along the beach) 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊💁🏽‍♀️🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊

And just like that, we’re back inside!

We made it! 2019.

So i took you to the beach today to record the intro to this podcast, that was along with my friend Geoffrey the crow, who was hanging out and squarking around - do crows squarq?! Not sure but, he was participating and contributing in his own special ways but frankly it was very windy and kind of annoying to listen to (not Geoffrey, the wind!) i didn’t want to do that to your ears so thought i’d bring you back inside. Sorry there’s no sound of crashing waves to symbolise the year that was for many of us - intense with a lot of things going on! - and instead take you into this soft cocoon of a space to say yes! we made it!

But we’re here! new years eve. Dec 31 2019…if you celebrate new year in December of course, yeah, happy new year! ( i don’t really… but i kiiiind of do)

these notes are to say, we get to choose and begin again and again, whenever we like!

First just a note to say thank you for all your support. To each and every one who listens to this podcasts, sends me messages, leaves reviews and so on to support this labour of love which i create with love and send to you to hopefully offer you some space and freedom on this wild rollercoaster we call life!

So as you know i don’t see myself as “better” or never want to tell you want to do as you are your own best teacher however if i can offer you any support tools, resources or anything to enhance your life, music for your bathroom discos, inspiration to explore being in your body, or anything to help you feel less alone and more connected cause were all in this together, walking each other home, shoutout to Ram Dass, thank you for your work…

if i can offer anything that is useful, supportive and open up some space for you, then, my work is done! …..well its never done, its always ongoing but you know what i mean…

but that’s why i do this…so i just want to thank you so much for your time and your attention

and also honour this moment!

Whether or not you celebrate new year now, just wanted to share a reminder that every day every moment in the day offers us the opportunity to start again, to begin again. i talk about this a lot and there some yoga vids, movement practices, some blog posts, some podcasts, playlists references that i will link for you in the show notes but…

this episode is very much about new year and how we can take the pressure off of ourselves and recognise that we get to choose.

We get to choose how we show up, and how we step into this newness with intention and realness in ways that feel GOOD, as opposed to making ourselves feel a bit crap for not keeping up, or not doing the things that we wanted to do, whatever it is.

Instead we get to reframe, and connect in more meaningful and feel-good ways.

…do you know what I’m talking about? i hope this makes sense!

but yes, this is actually this is a rebroadcast, cause i was listening to this particular episode myself when i needed a little pep talk and thinking

“do you know what? i think this is ok!”

i don’t know if any of you are podcasters out there, or any of you who are creating stuff and putting stuff out into the world, if you’re anything out there you’ll make the things and then i’ll be asking myself “is this even useful? is anyone going to find this useful? will it enhance their lives?! am i offering any insight that’s progressive in any way?” etc…

Realise that’s the inner critic talking, which is another topic i talk about a lot, blog posts, podcast episodes etc here on my site on that.

Anyway, if you’re anything like that and the creative process is kind of exhausting, cause you go through the process of making the thing then wondering !is this even any good!, not even !good” but is it useful, at least that’s what goes through my mind.

i’m resharing this podcast episode in the hope that it’s helpful cause it helped me out this week.

I hope it reminds yourself of what you already know but also offers you some added tools, resources and also love from me and some Eastenders references - let me rephrase that - Eastenders animal references which is more relevant and fun!

i just really hope it resonates with you and is timely whenever you’re listening to it cause, as i said, your “new year” or “newness” or “starting something”, you get to begin again and again and again and again and again, - as many times as you need to!

So with that, i’m going to go and drink a lot of tea and think of you cause i hope you’re looking after yourselves in this wintery season up here in the north, if you’re in the southern hemisphere cause i know some of you out there listening from Brazil. Australia, please take care of yourself wherever you are out there. I’m thinking of you all and sending you so much love,

thank you so much for your support

enjoy the show!

Begin rebroadcast of episode 4…

You’re listening to i feel for you and this is episode 4!

I’m dionne, your unhinged wizard guide, a bit like the 80s children’s tv character, Wizbit - but less creepy, and with an affection for more sequins, Prince and Eartha Kitt, and i’m honoured that you are here! Ps i will link you in the show notes if you are unfamiliar with said 80’s kids tv shows.

I’m a human being, based on earth, much of my time is spent working between the uk and norway as a creative coach, yoga teacher, retreat sharer, event maker, writer and experience creator (trying to think of a less pretentious way to say that!). Essentially, i’m interested in supporting people to feel better, in ways that are real and accessible and sustainable.

This audio crevice or “podcast” is a place on the internet for us to talk to each other! Well, perhaps not in exactly “real time”, but “near time” and hopefully, ponder life and the weird stuff together. I’m so grateful that you are here. So let’s get to it!

Happy new year!

If you celebrate new year that is!

2017 is over! And now a new crispy year is upon us!

Special shoutout to those of you who found last year tough….

We made it!

Hopefully through a season that didn’t leave us too exhausted…. i don’t know about you but i feel 2017 wiped its bottom a little with me.
That’s the truth.
And i’m sorry if that sounded vulgar but, you know, it’s honest.
It’s not that it was a bad year by any means, just, well, an exhausting one, so by the time December came around i was, well... pretty barren and goggleyed, longing to be back in the Caribbean for reals.

How have you been my love?
Does it feel like new year for you?

To be honest, i tend to think of my new year starting in the spring, you know, when things are coming back to life after the long winter, when there’s more light, more energy and so on…

Sidenote: isn’t it strange that western new year festivities is tied up with the part of the calendar where most of us have the least amount of energy? It’s a weird time, you know, it’s like a supercharged soup of emotion, feelings, a lot of tired people, a lot of energy and, well, it’s interesting. Don’t you think? Kind of like an Eastenders festive plot. Cue theme! I say that like it sounds as though i watch Eastenders. I feel i know it enough. Friends listening across the ocean, apols for that random soap meander, if at all interested, i dare you to wade into Netscape webpages past and seek out the animals of Eastenders.
Willy, Rolly, Well-Ard, they’re all there!
So many animal friends...

Anyway, Back to the topic of :

new year, contagious energies and ripeness.

There’s still something about the traditional date changing anew that fills me with hope in many ways. You know, like that moment in JLo’s waiting for tonight video where the digital clock changes to welcome a new millenia, green digits obviously, to match the aesthetic of the club in the middle of the rainforest, as you do, it’s potent! Wild! Enchanting! All that hope! So many vibes galore! Ps here’s the vid if you have yet to enjoy it:

The excitement, and feels are hard to avoid. Especially if you’re not in the mood.

And there’s also a side to the new year business that can feel a bit claustrophobic and pressured.

There’s a lot. Of. noise out there.

Self improvement stuff.

“New year new me” mantras.

“Hashtag goals”, however unrealistic.

Weird diets and triggering bellows from strangers declaring stuff you should do with your body. And stuff you should and shouldn’t feed it. All in the name of (i’m making air quotes rn) “health” and getting (more air quotes) “summer ready”, whatever that is. You know the drill. And i find it SO BORING!

Am i alone?

-Hey, i’m all for goal setting, but babes, we have to be real. And also kind to ourselves!
There’s so much emphaisis on what we aren’t doing right, that it feels like we are starting off on bad footing to begin.
These unrealistic goals feel at the root of so much unneccessary tension around new year you know, the “new year, new me” bs. Do you feel me?

And as much as i love to be inspired and feel like one can have a fresh slate to create all the dreams and plans, i’ve also grown a bit cynical.
Actually that’s not true.
I am all for dreaming. Visioning. Setting intentions. In fact, i can’t get enough of that stuff.
But it has to be real and it has to have some meaning for us.

I suppose what i’m saying is that connection is important.

Connection to your own goals and intentions - or “new years resolutions” if you prefer.

Connection to their meanings and the reasons behind them, as opposed to wearing a suit of someone else’s ideas telling you what you should do.

Also (worthy of a mention/shout out to), connection to the season you’re in right now - because there are seasons to be going for it, getting it all done, ticking the to do’s, cranking out the produce, if you like, (not a euphemism), just as there are seasons to draw inwards and rest, recover, recuperate and reflect.

And both of those need to exist in our worlds in order for us to find anything close to balance.

I feel it’s so necessary for us to connect to something that anchors us to our dreams and goals. Because that’s what makes something sustainable, as opposed to setting a goal for yourself and crashing at the first hurdle.
...Cause there will be hurdles because that is life.
And let’s be honest, the thing that ties it all together which is also the most important “something to connect to”, is you.

It all comes from you babes.

None of this matters if you aren’t connected to yourself to begin with.

You are the seed. The catalyst. You carry limitless potential.

And that can be driven in all kinds of directions, so it counts to check in with the driver first to consider the journey. This strange analogy is hinting that you, dear listener, are the driver. The driving force. The one that drives it all. You are vital and brilliant.

I realise i do go on a lot about this, so to save you a waffle about my opposition to this “new year new me” nonsense, head to the show notes ( ifeelforyoupodcast.com) for a link to a blog post i wrote about just that, A story about not running away.

So how can we stay connected to ourselves amidst the noise of what everyone else is doing, has been doing and is planning to do with their 2018?

I think it has to do with the power of the pause.

The power of the Pause

Pausing to take stock at the end of something, be it a year or a project, a relationship or an activity. It can be a really helpful way of processing stuff. You know, creating pauses in between the stuff that simply happens day to day.

...Is it John Lennon who has the quote about that. “Life is what happens when you’re not paying attention. Or busy making other plans or something”.

I don’t know, i’ve never really listened to the Beatles, i lie, the first time i heard of them was aged 6 and watching Ferris Bueller’s day off and having a moment for ferris. Matt Broderick. I digress.

💕 Insert emoji love hearts 💕

Creating time for the pause is useful. Choosing to take a moment, either to breathe, or assess, or reflect, or whatever, to make space. Because unless you do, either you, or someone else is likely to waft in and gobble it up and something else to take your attention and it’s onto the next thing before we know it, know what i mean?

However, feel it’s important to say that as you choose the pause, you can also choose the timing of that pause. And it doesn’t have to be according to anybody else’s schedule.

The pause is really about being present, despite everything that may be happening, whether it’s yearning for something more, or less, navigating the soup of feelings and so on.

So let’s talk about intention setting, or intentional realistic goal setting if you prefer, whatever.

Setting intentions --- that can be adjusted/changed/ignored if need be

Remember my loves, as great as it is to have a symbolic word for the year (or 10, for that matter), as splendid as a list of new years’ resolutions look when written up nicely in your bujo (that’s bullet journal by the way), and as earnest as it feels to state repeatedly the thing you are committing to this year, you can always, always adjust stuff.

You create your own rules.

That means you change them and even ignore them, if you so wish.

You get to create the parameters, the pace and the tone. And this is, i think, the most valuable thing about intention or goal setting. It grows with you and reveals what’s working and what and who can be put in the dustbin.

I get so sad when i hear people feeling bad about themselves for “falling off the waggon”, or thinking themselves a failure for not 100% committing to something they declared at the pub at 23:52 on new years eve or via a nifty gif on twitter. No shade because i respect anyone who is comfortable enough to show their vulnerability in any public sphere.

I’m just saying that even if you have declared something is “official”, then suddenly it’s not, it’s ok! You still win! Although it’s not a competition!

You are not a failure for putting something down and setting an intention to commit to it.

It’s all good.

You can always begin again and again.

Or not, if you like. I’ll also link you to a video i made about just that below, in case it’s useful.

Intentions are living and breathing things.

Sidenote: does anyone else have a weird relationship to the phrase “setting an intention”? Is it overused? Do we need a new way to talk about this stuff? Lemmeknow.

Back to the point tho, you make the rules and can design your own start to the year, and don’t you forget it!

And if in these moments you might be confronted by doubt or overwhelm, i wrote another blog post especially for you with 5 things I remind myself of, anytime I get a little doubtful or intimidated by beginnings or starting something, and it contains very necessary music video accompanyments for extra value plus, a bonus Spotify playlist, obviously. Because i love you.

So let’s think about

Setting sustainable goals, intentions and organising them

One thing that has really helped me over the years is to have a kind of regular pause throughout the year. Hmm, that sounds weird. Ok let me rephrase, a sort of check in weekly, monthly, yearly of course, and often, to be honest, daily.

Alright that might sound a little extra, but really and truly, i don’t feel pressured to follow constructed dates as a rule when it comes to setting my own goals or intentions. As i said, new year for me makes more sense to me come springtime. But because i’m a sucker for the feeling of newness around this time in January, i still like to dabble though, and tend to stretch my January new year reflections out through the month and beyond as i tend to be running my winter retreat and other events around that time. So it can be nice to do the work over a longer period. I really recommend it.

And the work comprises of a range of stuff. For example, part of my daily check in is my Morning Pages. Many of you know about them, and i spoke about them in the last episode so i’ll link you up in the shownotes if you are interested in reading more about them.

Get unstuck and find your flow with Morning Pages

My daily check in also comprises of my bullet journal, where i’m always in a process of reflecting consistently, be it by day, week, month or season. A bullet journal for those of you who might not know, is a tool to essentially design your own calendar and amalgamate all your important information like to do lists, projects and so on, all in one place in a kind of systematic fashion that works for you. I’ll link you to their homepage so you can explore that too if you like. No pressure.

I’ve also been thinking of sharing a video of my bujo setup over the last few years, as when i share pages in my instagram stories, many of you seem interested….are you interested in that? Is it helpful?

Another way i explore my goals and intentions is via visionboarding yessss i know it’s slightly cliche but i love it. Pinterest has been a constant living breathing visionboard since 2012 - thanks pinterest please feel welcome to sponsor me.

I also do an “old school” visionboard with old papers and flyers and old magazines that might be lying around and if i’m feeling particularly sassy, i’ll ask the shops if they are throwing out any old mags that might be interesting. I like the cut and paste way you can get physical with your vision. Know what i mean?

I also tried another goal and intention setting technique which i’ve really enjoyed using over the last year, created by Elena Brower called the Map of Intentions. I made a video of it which was a video for retreat guests last winter who wanted a recap of the process so if you want it, you can see it in the shownotes. I´ll also link to Elena Browers because, you know, she created it and i just adapted but with more innappropriate unhinged ramblings to camera. Lol.

Map of intention (my unhinged version)
+ Elena Brower’s mapping

And finally, another way i set intentions and goals is thinking about words that resonate for me. Yes, again, possibly cliche, but i enjoy words and using them like a little positive trigger to centre me whenever i get a little astray as the year goes on. Nahmean?

This year i’m thinking a lot about about the word expression, because it’s something i’ve always had a tricky relationship with.

Using my voice.

Being seen.

Being allowed to speak and be me.

And so on.

A lot of it is rooted in struggling to feel entitled to take up space in the world. And if that’s you too, may i encourage you and say, the world needs your voice. And it doesn’t necessarily need to mean voice per se.

It might be expression simply by choosing to exist.

To be seen.

To stand, unapologetically.

To do you. Again. Unapologetically.

Stand in your power.

So dassit. My two pence on new year stuff. Goals, intentions and tools.

And i’m always interested to hear what you think. Because i value and respect you so much, dear listener.

So, over to you! Tell me:

Do you struggle with the new year noise?

What about goals, intentions, and all that stuff. Are you into it? Not into it?

And either way, do you use tools to support you? I’d really love to know!

Tell me how you feel!

You can reach me on the socials, dionne with seven underscores on instagram, cause i’m back on my bs and lurking in those stories most days!

Twitter sometimes, dionne with just the one underscore.
And via my website, dionne.space.

Fyi i was named after Dionne Warwick so if you’re unsure how to spell my name…...yeah!

As always, all the stuff i mentioned in the show will be in the shownotes. Ifeelforyoupodcast.com and this is episode 4.

Oh - and if you’re interested in working with me, i’m opening up two slots for creative coaching at the end of this month, that’s January 2018, so get in touch if you want to find out more about how i can support you to get clear, focussed and in flow. Link in the shownotes!

Thank you so much for listening and if you dug, please consider subscribing and/or giving me a review on itunes, cause it really helps other likeminded good people find the show.

That weird “salesy” bit.

Until next time, take care of you.

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