Have a great week!

 Meryl, a colour blocking mood!

Meryl, a colour blocking mood!

Mmm, it's the first time this year i've felt that Autumn cosy! The leaves are beginning to tinge a little and i want to embody snug glamour and curl up in a gown in bed, do you relate? Just me?! 😂 There's something about the shift towards this introvert time that my insides LOVE, and i've been stashing away lots of inspiring goodies for you to enjoy, as the cooler months arrive in the north! 

So, i'm starting with five things which i hope will be a great accompaniment to your week ahead! Let me know what you're up to this week, eh? 

 

1. Five of the world's most fascinating small towns

 

2. How to be a true ally to Women of Color with Rachel Cargle

I'll be honest. I haven't really resonated with Yoga Girl in the past. I never felt she was ever talking to people like me. I always found it strange and a little triggering that a white Swedish woman living in the Caribbean seemed to only be only serving other rich white women. I mean, this isn't just Rachel Brathen, this is how i feel about so much of the mainstream yoga industry, and i've written a huge blog posts about my experience being Other in yogaland and dealing with toxic white feminism in wellness which i might get the guts to share with you one day...Anyway...

I've been a long time fan of Rachel Cargle's work (if you're not following her on Instagram, i really really recommend you do!) and this conversation has been much anticipated and let's face it, long overdue! The "mainstream" (white) yoga community (and other white communities) need more of these conversations, to listen to what Black Women and Women of Colour have to say (and have been saying for a very long time) and to use their platforms to elevate our voices.

We can all learn so much if we open up to listen to someone elses perspective of the world, even if it feels uncomfortable (and it's a luxury to feel uncomfortable, especially when it comes to "race" - although we all know race is a construct of course) I feel this is the true work, and where true healing happens. Anyway, let me know what you think!

"Like you said, there’s this underlying fear of using the word racist. Racist isn’t a bad word. It’s a thing, and you accept and say, “Oh my gosh, I’ve done racist.” Being called racist is not the worst thing that can happen to someone. There’s a lot of worse things that can happen, and those worse things usually happen to people of color. To be called racist or to be called out on your racist actions or thoughts or ideas are an opportunity for you to sit back and say, “Wow. There’s this entire system in the world that’s been built around me, and I happen to be born into a space to benefit from it. So I need to sit back and look at how race plays a role in my life, and if you’re white, you’re on the benefiting side of that, and you really need to sit with the word race. Say it out loud. Have an understanding of where you fit into it. So, I think really people working out of their discomfort … It’s not okay to not have the conversation because you’re uncomfortable. So I think that’s one of the first parts is just saying, “Wow. I’m white in a racist society. I’m benefitting from it. Where do I go from here?” I think having that acceptance, when you start to break those walls down of just being defensive around the topic of race, that’s when real work can be done. Because as long as you’re still sitting in your ego of not wanting to be called out or not wanting to be called in, or not wanting to accept the fact that this is the reality whether you asked for it or not. People often say, “Well, I didn’t ask to be white.” And I didn’t ask to be black, but here we are. So we need to start having these conversations from a lens of truth instead of from trying to look at it from a lens of comfort" - Rachel Cargle


3. Visual pleasures via Paper Journal Magazine

K's loving their ig account of late...check it out for some inspiring visuals!

 

4. Newsflash: Goats Like It When You Smile at Them

I mean, i had a hunch when back in the Caribbean, my Grandpops goats (whose names were Wednesday and Thursday) would always be less stubborn when i would smile when asking them to move out the way so my sheep (whose name was Hamish) could fit in the pen....but now, there is empirical evidence you guys! 

goats like it when you smile at them
 

5. The disease to please (and how to avoid it!)

 Photograph by Heather Hazzan / The Licensing Project

Photograph by Heather Hazzan / The Licensing Project

Worth thinking about as we navigate the week eh?

"...according to Sasha Heinz, PhD, a developmental psychologist and life coach, there’s another price to people-pleasing: It’s a form of manipulation.

This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be nice and helpful and friendly. The difference, explains Heinz, is that people-pleasers depend on the acceptance and validation of others—it’s what she calls the disease to please. When we habitually try to satisfy other people’s needs above our own, Heinz says, it’s most likely an anxiety-management system: “We’re managing our own anxiety that people won’t like us by trying to control their opinions of us.”

When we can recognize that this behavior stems from a sense of worth based on another person’s approval, Heinz believes we can make small changes to self-correct it—first by mastering a graceful yet effective “no, thanks.”

More, over on GOOP! 

Also, for more bolstering support and love, check out my post and podcast about people pleasing -

"Compromise? FOR WHAT!" - Eartha Kitt

prince tea

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