An update 💫

first shared with my Patrons on June 9

Loves.

✨how are you?✨

this has felt like such a tricky question to answer of late, huh?

I have been trying to catch my breath these weeks
wondering what to do, what to say (publicly), how to survive, on so many levels…
I hold space for so many of us working on it
we're all working on it to varying degrees.
but the wind has been particularly hard to come up for air
(cue Amel)

There are so many things i want to share with you here
so many things i have and want to write about
tools i want to talk about
and of course, to connect.

i guess firstly, what's been prominent is my still-strong belief that connection is healing.
true, meaningful connection, that is.
so appreciation for each of you who have reached out to me to ask how i am, who are here in this space, trusting and supporting me and my work.

i am always reluctant to reel off a "let me fill you in on what i've been up to as i haven't been visible unless i show and tell you about it!", but also wonder if it adds some context during this time.

i've been mostly connecting and building with other activists, humans, doing the work - and we all do work in different ways right?

here's a post about that::::

and much of my time has been connecting to hours of community calls each day. which has been. intense and it's funny because you know, Zoom fatigue.

it's also been helpful and healing in practicing something i very much need and have needed to work on:

being held.

i don't like it

i'm not good at it

i resist it

......

so alongside supporting and building and holding space, it's been. big. weeks of. grief. continued grief. trauma processing. trauma freeze. trauma thaw. and learning to be held. observing. observing. observing. re-centring (til infinity)

basically leaning into so many tools i share haha.

but.

as i'm always urgent to (also) share: i'm ever the student.

being held is. so hard.

to truly let yourself fall and trust you will be caught -

"i don't know her!"

i wish i could say “i love this song!”

but .... it is so far removed from what i do know.

i know how to keep it moving. to take care of things.
because i know if i don't there won't be anyone to do that.

I know how to support and hold space for others.
i think it's one thing i am starting to recognise that i might be good at...but my pattern is to give before my own needs which is a pattern i'm trying to decode...

I know how to hide.
hide what i need.

But, if i have learned anything during this time, it’s that without learning how to re-address the balance in giving and receiving, nothing is sustainable.
But you knew that already, right?

Burnout is real.
As is the imbalance of power.
We must learn to be responsible for our energy and tend to the inner revolution (more on that here) so we can really connect with what we think.
How we feel.
Process and digest.
And take action using the skills that are most effective and authentic to us.

Does any of this make sense?

I feel i’ve spoken so much about this stuff and consciously don’t want to repeat myself. But also aware i always need the reminders, particularly in a world where our attention is being pulled in so many directions.

This year, my focus has been on an art installation that ran from January - March, and the calendar was booked up till the end of the year with my "year of returning to international events with community-centered connection via the ForRest project. i was due to be touring the rest of this year, (in fact i was supposed to be heading to Oslo to share another art installation at a festival this week) , running creativity and movement workshops and djing. as well as (finally) making my dreams come true, sharing events in the Caribbean
(i reach soon as i can!).

Of course, things change. And we get to practice being creative with the shifts in a multitude of ways.
And this year has brought me home to writing once again, which is a gift...
With that, i'm planning to share more writing in in my Patreon.

Is this ok? Are you up for it?

Some of you might know i wrote three books in recent years, each sitting gathering dust. Hah! So i'm working on a collection (working title Digestion).
If you’ve ever received my Digest over the last...9 (!) years you’ll probably be familiar with the vibe.

So i will be editing that and making a limited run. I know! Why not eh? And i’d love you to join the journey. I’ve also made another Patreon “goal” which i’ve been putting off because i'm so reluctant to let myself take this writing dream seriously but...i’m kind of tired of hiding, you know?
And herein lies the practice!

Speaking of practices, i have planned some livestream events which i’ll announce soon.
A series which i’m calling “A Place To Land”, the first event being a “deep rest”, cause i sense we could all use it?

In addition, other resources i’m working on for A Place To Land so far include: getting better sleep, managing anxiety, and finding focus in these times. Let me know if anything here sounds interesting/helpful, but also, what you might be in need of at this time so i can work on it.

SIDENOTE AND EVENT ANNOUNCEMENT

With all of this and so much more, I thought it might be nice to gather for a community check-in once again via a Tea and a chat on Patreon, creating a place to land amidst the swirling seas.

Nothing expected from you other than to show up as yourself, however you're doing and practice connection holding space for yourself and each other. Sound good?

It’s a half hour gather, perhaps we could make it daytime, like a biscuit to dunk in your tea?
Do we still do this? Is it just me?
Here’s a new post with a poll and let’s vote for times/days.
Already looking forward to seeing you!

More coming soon!
But in the meantime, feel free to comment on this post!

love and deep gratitude,

dionne x

An update 💫

a playlist for the road ✨