July Journal 🌺

never not awkward 🥴 📷 by Ketxl — *never not awkward* 🥴
📷 by Ketxl

This is a transcript of podcast episode 45
Listening to your body's wisdom 💎 (click the title to listen to the audio)
with additional tidbits, links and treats! Hope you enjoy!

HOLY MACKADANDEEEEEE! ⚡️

July was intense! So much for it being a time to slow down, it was the opposite, but with that came a lot of exciting opportunities, an extrovert energy, productive, energising and emotional!

Cancer season and wild full moon eclipse, in fact, eclipse season energy all round. Pitta vibes if Ayurveda is your bag! Hot headed! Hot hot heat. Energyyyyy!

So July for me represented:

Purging, growth, wading through thick air. Shifts galore, surprises and beautiful connections. and i got to celebrate dear friends get married a couple of weeks ago too. joy! Im grateful for it all.

Feeling the effects of my nervous system being on lock -. hyperactive, at times, frightened, other times, traumatised, triggered by news feeds, holding space for others and their stuff…. it’s been a lot. I realised how much i have craved someone holding that same space for me, in fact, it hadnt crossed my mind until a friend said that…

So a low point:

In the episode 44 (What to do when disappointment strikes - It ain't over till it's over 💥) of my podcast i spoke about two physical fights i almost got into with two abusive white men.…a moment experiencing my inner hurricane you know, shoutout to my girl Chantal. Lots of time spent trying to unfreeze and feel and process.

I have felt drained at times this month. Yet also hopeful. Ups and downs. Aint that the way it goes?

Still here though. And grateful indeed to come out the other side. Recognising that i’m holding a lot feels…..like a relief, to even notice that. To notice how much my right shoulder feels like concrete. And with that my right side body and chest. The aches saying loud and clear i’ve been over-doing. Also the right side suggesting a lot of excess masculine energy. overDoing. overProducing. too much Physicality. Doing, the most.

Hmm…. (that was a Neptunes Presents Busta Rhymes reference btw)

a summer playlist for the road 🍉

Looking to get clear, remove blocks
& move forward? Work with me!

Anyway,

Let’s check in-
What’s the energy like in your body right now?
High?
Low?
What are you feeling in this moment?
Anywhere standing out?
Physically?
Mentally?
Emotionally?
Can you place the feeling? Locate it?
What is it telling you?

But practicing this little body talk (ahem, sorry not sorry) can be so helpful in befriending our bodies (and minds cause it’s all connected!). This is always my route “back home” especially after intense times.

I just recorded a podcast about Body Wisdom in fact, which i’ll update for you here when it’s up and out! Um, here it is!

So, a little synopsis then of the month that was, highs, lows of July, plus the bits in between!

some of our Brighton retreat buddies after an impromptu dip in the sea after dinner! 📷 by Ketxl — *some of our Brighton retreat buddies after an impromptu dip in the sea after dinner!*
📷 by Ketxl

Brighton Summer Retreat 2019!

Our 8th in Brighton, can you believe?! It’s always a deep immersion for me, pre and post. Prepping above and beyond (hello to my root of overdoing ) but it’s also a time where i get to gather together my own explorations, studies, research and practice, and put together a programme incorporating yoga, movement, music, food and creative activities. All my faves.

It’s also wonderful because it enables me to feed my Capricorn rising by planning and preparing and getting all the coloured pens and organisational tools and techniques on the table (how many lists is too many? i mean…) but then it enables my Pisces Sun and Gemini Moon to feel free and spontaneous and work with the energy at hand, cause i let it all go and try to be as present in the moment as possible in order to respond to what’s in the room, what people want and need.

Which is how i love to work. But i also realise it’s a bit of a dichotomy. Planner but also go with the gut in the moment and ride out wacky spontaneity! That’s just how i roll.

So….in general, retreat went really well. Bar there being the most intense heatwave we’ve experienced over those three exact days.
Yeah. Wow. i mean.
i love the sun and being warm but being in a warehouse for almost 24hrs a day holding space, teaching, making food, fixing and cleaning was….a lot.
There are many lovely windows which are great, however it was at least over 40 degrees inside at the peak moments when our guests had free time. Which was great cause they could go swimming in the sea and truly experiencing summer beach life! 💦
But the tasks Ketil and i had to do in those times were so much more intense in that heat and situation….

all was going well until….
the last yoga session when i think the lack of sleep and overwork meant…
i kind of…
collapsed.
i mean. yeah. i say it flippantly but i was a bit scared to be honest. nothing like that has ever happened to me before. the world went slurry and my tongue swelled up in my mouth and what felt like my brain too. I was frightened i had heatstroke but luckily i think it was just heat exhaustion. the first time i’ve ever experienced it- has anyone else?!

thankfully there were some dear and kind people who took care of me on the retreat, which i’m so grateful for. But it reminded me of the importance of paying attention to my own needs on retreat. i have a tendency to always put others first. you know what i mean? it’s………hard to think of another way to be….i don’t say that in a martyr way, cause i know you know what i mean, there are many of you listening who also struggle with this….(This One’s For The People Pleasers) and serving others although great, also does us a disservice. we give so much we have nothing left for ourselves. we need to have reserves so we can be at our best. or at least able to give ourselves a foundation to nourish our own needs before we begin providing others!

So… i don’t know who needed to hear that but….please take care of your needs first, so you can be even more helpful to others… 💜

some good news!

And some super exciting news came through right before the retreat - which felt unbelievable and i wonder if i can talk about it? why not i guess? but yes, i was invited to become a founding member of The Wing which is a work and community co-working space for self identifying women and non binary people.

They have spaces in a few cities in the states like LA and Chicago are opening up their first space in Europe, London specifically, in a few months time.

It feels totally surreal and amazing to be part of it as they are an organisation i’ve admired since their inception in New York in 2016. And i’m still in shock to be honest. I’m also scared. And incredibly excited and amazed that they invited me to be a founding member, but also my recent tarot card (The World) aligns so spookily with all i’ve hoped for.

*i am so ready to be found amongst these books bbz! 📚*

See i’m not sure if i spoke about it #onhere but i nearly moved to london at the end of last year. things fell through at the last moment but it was touch and go and in the air all autumn- should the thing have worked out it would have meant a couple of weeks to transition to pack up life again and get up there. wild! but it didn’t align and although a little disappointed (have been so hungry for some seasoning on these Brighton streets!) i also took it as a sign to stay put awhile. to plant seeds and see.

as for the seeds?
They were kind of vague, but what was very clear was my desire to be in London more. Somehow. So, even though i couldn’t live there, i tried to work with what i could. Being more intentional in spending time up there. Planning office days in the city. Meeting friends i miss and want to see. just practicing. you know? It was also a bit of test for me and the recent flare of anxiety i experienced last spring (did you catch my story about my teenage mutant ninja turtle backpack moment getting stuck on the tube?)

Anyway. I’ll link it for your obvs, ( Life with chronic illness, connecting with yourself + finding your community! 🔑⚡️) but it’s been a trip. Working with the flare ups and finding ways to build my confidence after so long, and manage the very real very frightening effects of living with anxiety. And also being more intentional with where i put my energy and with who…or is it with “whom”? I feel like that could start a twitter argument so let’s allow it eh? heheh 😏

So, shoutout to the universe for always teaching me about perfect timing and the very powerful lesson of trust and working with what you’ve got so you can carve out space for what you’re trying to cultivate. I’m mega excited to connect with likeminded people, to build together and to be based in London more.

“I’m baaaaaack!”

That was a Miss J reference. as if i even needed to explain, right? you my people!

Other worthy mentions + random photos

Sooooo alongside this beefy update were some other beautiful moments. Bucketlist moments. Like seeing Stevie Wonder with the beautiful Chantal (which i spoke about in an earlier podcast
and i have a folder of around 86 images and videos from that experience i don’t even know how to cope. i just…love!)

I’m so grateful for good people. Friends who are dear to me. Near, far, wherever you are 🥰 thank you internets for skype and whatsapp for transatlantic coffee dates and for transport to connect with darlings! 💜

I got to spend a sunny afternoon with Desta at Somerset House for Get Up, Stand Up Now exhibition (on until 15 September my darlings so time to soak it up if you haven’t already!) and witness (and cheer) darling mates celebrating their love!

Cue a collage of moments from my phone that made me laugh or smile which include a series of outfits Ethel and i tried on (🍑peach has been a fave colour of mine since 1986 so… realising how that’s carried through my entire life here, in garms and websites since 2010 hehe! and, i guess it’s “trendy” now eh? which makes me feel equally gross as it does delighted, lol!), getting used to my haircut, selected cutlets from the Other bookclub and more. Hope you enjoy them!

Just tap to slide through bbz!

so, over to you!

I know…it took a lot to go through with pressing publish here…did you dig this kind of update? i hope that there’s something here that gives you some inspo, encouragement and a reminder to take some time to reflect and absorb during this life! I’d love to hear what you’ve been up to, what’s inspired and delighted you, what you’re working on, what you might need some support with.

You can drop me a line and leave me a voicemail - i know! i love!

Or comment below, or via my socials!

I love to hear from you!

So, dassit!

Well, i could have gone on but i’m trying to curb. But if you do want more, please find recent podcasts + blog posts below in case you’ve missed some resources + updates!

Thank you for getting this far!

love, dionne 💜

Recent Podcast Episodes